Life’s curve balls – part 1 of my health journey

Life loves to throw us curve balls when we least expect them.

Who would have thought we’d still be dealing with Covid after two years, or that Russia would suddenly go to war with Ukraine? Or losing a friend in a fatal accident when he crashed into a tree on a group ride through a familiar, often traveled route? Or dealing with something worse?

I thought it was just a routine first ever mammogram, only to hear from my doctor that they found a 10mm radial scar mass. I thought the scariest thing I’d have to face with my health issue was the lumpectomy to remove it a month later. I’m relieved to know it was benign.

Unfortunately, life decided to throw me another curve ball when I started feeling bloated and noticing my stomach distended. It got bigger and bigger, making me look 4 months pregnant. After following up with my ob/gyn, I found out I have large fibroids and my uterus is enlarged. They have gotten too big for laparoscopy and if I wanted to remove the fibroids, it would require open abdominal surgery and a lot of blood loss. But, they could come back. I can also ignore my large stomach and learn to co-exist with my symptoms until I hit menopause, which hopefully would reduce my symptoms. But menopause is still many years away for me. The ultimate solution: a hysterectomy. And right now, I’m still a good candidate for a minimally invasive one.

I know the uterus is just an organ, one that I’ve never used before. But it’s still a part of me. It reminds me every month that I’m a woman who God created. Would I be “less” of a woman if I didn’t have it anymore?

Would you be conflicted like me if you were suddenly told you needed to part with one of your organs?

I’m struggling because I don’t know anyone in my family or any of my friends who’s had to remove it, so why me? And I think I’m still young. Am I being punished because I’ve never used it?

I know what I need to do, but I just wish it wasn’t so drastic. I wish I wasn’t the first one to deal with it. Why isn’t there someone I know who understands?

I wish my older sister was here right now to guide and support me because maybe she would have gone through what I’m going through now. Then I wouldn’t feel like I’m dealing with this on my own.

Maybe it’s all because someone else needs to hear this.

I started this blog to share my stories with others, so that I can encourage others. No one should ever feel like they’re journeying through life alone in this world.

Life will always be hard and it loves to throw us curve balls. It takes a lot of courage to deal with the fears of the unknown. But we shouldn’t be afraid. Every challenge in our journey will leave a scar, whether it is visible or not. But those scars, they remind us that we lived and survived. So, learn to wear your scars proudly and courageously, because those experiences might just be what someone needs to hear today.

So, this is just another one of my stories to tell. I hope you know you’re never alone.

¹² Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12 NIV)